Exstatica

#!/usr/bin/perl
 
# Checks level of sexyness
my $im={'sexyness'=>$ARGV[0], 'Model'=>1,};
my $items={'Shirt'=>1,'Party'=>1,'Car'=>1, 'Hat'=>1, 'Cat'=>1, 'Love'=>1, 'Song'=>1};
my $places={'Milan'=>1, 'New York'=>1, 'Japan'=>1};
 
while ($im->{'sexyness'}) {	
 
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Love'}) {
		love_leave();
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Shirt'}) {
		$im->{'hurts'} = 1;
	}
	foreach my $place (keys (%{$places})) {
		if ($im->{'sexyness'} < $places->{$place}) {
			#do nothing because i'm too sexy
		}
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} < $item->{'Party'}) {
		do_disco_dance();
	} else {
		print "No way I'm disco Dancing\n";
	}
	if ($im->{'Model'}) {\
		do_turn_on_catwalk();
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Car'}) {
		$im->{'sexyness'}++;
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Hat'}) {
		what_do_you_think_about($item->{'Hat'});
	}
	if ($im->{'Model'}) {
		do_turn_on_catwalk();
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} == $im->{'sexyness'}){
		print "Too sexy\n";
	}
	if ($im->{'Model'}) {
		do_turn_on_catwalk();
	}
	if ($im->{'Cat'}) {
		sad_pussy_cat();
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Love'}) {
		love_leave();
	}
	if ($im->{'sexyness'} > $item->{'Song'}) {
		print "I'm too sexy for this song\n";
		die();
	}
}
 
sub love_leave {
	print "Love is leaving\n";
}
 
sub disco_dance {
	print "disco dancing\n";
}
sub do_turn_on_catwalk {
	print "Shake my little touche on the catwalk\n";
}
 
sub sad_pussy_cat {
	print "Poor pussy poor pussy cat\n";
}
 
sub what_do_you_think_about {
	$im->{'sexyness'} = $im->{'sexyness'} + $_[0];
}